20%

Last weekend, my grandfather (dad's dad) moved into his new apartment at The Seasons in Northbrook, IL after living on the east coast (NYC, then Connecticut) for all 89 years of his life. Then Tuesday night he was having trouble breathing and his legs were all swollen and he has a bad heart, anyway, so Wednesday morning they admitted him to the hospital. Wednesday was also my brother's 17th birthday. My mom and dad were both at the hospital pretty much all day while my brother, who is on spring break this week, called and text messaged me constantly because he was bored and his friends are all out of town. I did not get any of these messages until almost 6 PM because I was at work all day, going a bit nuts in the office trying to get out tax letters and thank-you cards to recent donors. It's a bazillion step process that is extremely inefficient but for now there's no better way of doing it. I spent a solid 5 hours running around and all I had to show for it at the end of the day was a stack of maybe 20 envelopes to be mailed. Kids Klub was a joke since all the kids were picked up by 5, so I wrote an email to a mom and then headed out to Oak Park for my brother's official birthday dinner at The Cock Cafe*. I ate too much (that's what happens when my parents pay for steak) and was exhausted, but I didn't have to work until 3 on Thursday and I felt bad that my brother's birthday was sucking, so I agreed to play with him.
Thursday was going to be reptile day at Kids Klub, so I wanted to get one of the Crocodile Hunter movies from Blockbuster. My brother and I were standing in line with the one Steve Irwin movie they had when my brother was flipping through the clearance DVDs and found the first Animal Planet Crocodile Hunter movie for $2.99! Why rent when you can buy? So now I own a Crocodile Hunter DVD. Thank you, Mark.
The thing Mark most wanted to do for his birthday was take his big bag of quarters to Baker Square and clean out their stuffed animal claw machine. My brother is obscenely good at those things, and after watching him go through quarter after quarter for almost an hour, he had four new hideous stuffed bunnies and a huge ugly stuffed chick to show for his efforts. He was disappointed with himself for not getting more. We shared a piece of triple berry pie so it didn't look like we'd just come to play the stupid crane machine and left. I was absolutely exhausted at this point, but it was 10:30 and he wanted to play pool. I do enjoy spending time with the boy and love him very much, but the real reason I ended up agreeing to go was because I still felt bad he'd had such a shitty birthday. We went to Oak Park Billiards, where I spent way too much time in high school and the summers before and after my freshman year of college. It's dark and smokey and the tables are really old and the bumpers and cues aren't really straight and there are tons of bizarre figurines (mostly things you'd get in Chinatown) and scary old couches in dusty piles along the walls. Ted and I used to play a lot. I was awful. Turns out, my brother is even worse. I have no power whatsoever, but I'm fairly accurate if the ball doesn't have to go too far and I know the angles. My brother knows the angles but has no fine motor skills so he basically whacks the cue as hard as he can in any given direction and hopes for the best. I won all but the first game, when I scratched on the 8-ball. Thank God the pool hall closes at midnight and I was allowed to pass out at my parents house with Freud trying to kick me off the bed.

Thursday was insane. I woke up and was out the door of my parents' by 9 AM, ran a few billion errands, went home showered, and went to work. After all the regular employees had left, a delivery of 600 lbs of school supplies showed up and the delivery guy refused to take them upstairs due to "insurance issues." I'd actually talked to someone from his company the day before about the problem of the school being on the second floor and they assured me they'd work it out before anyone showed up. Oops. So I ended up spending an hour dealing with the fact that the temple didn't want 15 large boxes hanging out downstairs all night (the women's seder was getting underway as the delivery truck showed up) and there were a number of other issues (I'll spare you the details) with getting the shipment upstairs. I the end, we hid the boxes under a table outside the temple office and the school's office administrator spent today carrying them up about one every half hour. Stoopid. And it was reptile day! Sure, it wasn't a big deal for Elizabeth to be in charge and stick them in front of the Crocodile Hunter movie, but I had so many things to say and do! Damn you, delivery company!
Right as all the issues with the boxes were getting resolved, my dad called and asked if I wanted to meet him at the hospital to see my grandfather. Since I was already up north and my dog had been out pretty much from 9 AM until 2:30 PM, I figured it'd be nice and not particularly difficult. Lo and behold, it was actually nice, and not particularly difficult! Strange to see my grandfather finally seeming old. He's turning 90 in May, and it's kind of to be expected, but it's been just this past year that he's more visibly declined. He's still funny as fuck, even while he was all cranky and stuck in the hospital, but his hands now shake and you can see the big weird lump in his shoulder from where his pacemaker is under his skin and he gets confused mid-sentence sometimes. Still, when a nurse asked him if he was on oxygen at home he responded, "Yes, 20%." When my dad and the nurse thought he was just confused he had to explain to them room air contains 20% oxygen. And you wonder how I got my sense of humor...

I took a 2 hour nap after work today but I'm still exhausted and it's now after midnight so I quit. I'm going to bed NOW. Or at least I'll sit in my bed and eat Cheerios and not write anymore.

dot dot dot

I want to go here. I have never been. Not that I have money to spend or need anything in particular, but holy crap, did you see the list of stores? This summer, Amy, this summer...

Worked in the office today. It's not so bad since I like the people and they're used to me being with the kids so every time a teacher had to go to the bathroom I was on 3-minute sub duty, but I'd rather be doing things other than entering information in data bases and answering phones. Still, it's money, and money is good. Just as long as they don't get any ideas about me being an office person next year...

Seriously, check out pandora.com. You give it the name of a band or a song you like and, using extremely specific components of the band/song from the Music Genome Project, it starts playing other music it thinks you will like. The more bands and songs you put in, the more versitile its selections become. Then you can tell it if you like a song or not and it uses that to refine what it plays. It's been finding all kinds of stuff I really like and have never heard of. When I click on the "Why did you play this song?" thing for Crooked Fingers' Dignity and Shame (which I thoroughly enjoyed) it tells me, "Based on what you've told us so far, we're playing this track because it features mellow rock instrumentation, acoustic rhythm piano, acoustic sonority, major key tonality, and many other similarities identified in the music genome project." How fucking awesome is that?

new things

I like this Pandora music thing very much.

Friday I got new tires and gummy vitamins (both regular and calcium) from Costco and new boots from I'd been searching everywhere for black kneehigh boots to replace my dying old ones from Target. After DSW, Marshal Fields, Nordstroms, Steve Madden, Nine West, Aldo, and Bakers, I'd given up. There were only one pair of boots in all the stores even worth trying on and they were too big. My mom suggested we try Lord & Taylor on the way out of the mall. Lord & Taylor always seems like a little old lady store to me, but one more place wouldn't hurt. Jackpot. Many cute choices in my size. Two fit very well, but these seemed more versatile and interesting and were half the price. $50 marked down from $150. Sweeeeeet. I. Love. New. Shoes.

West Wing was mediocre and uneventful. Toby is still an amazing character, but I wanted more Josh and Donna fooling around or something involving Leo.

Actually, my whole weekend was uneventful. I did absolutely nothing but watch TV and DVDs and sleep and poke Freud. I'm very good at being too busy or too bored. All or nothing, baby.

I took the "Which Desperate Housewife are you?" quiz. I'm a Lynette. Absolutely no surprise there.

cast of characters

Today I came out from work at 6 PM to find an extremely flat tire on my car. This should have been no big deal (especially with auto club), but I am stupid and never replaced my spare last summer, so I had to get towed somewhere that had tires. I called many, many friends and family members hoping one of them could check online for the nearest tire shop, but no one was near both his or her phone and a computer. Next I tried 411, but they could only look up city, state and business type, so I had them give me the number for the Shell I knew was a few blocks away. The Shell apparently didn't have an auto service department, but they knew of a Just Tires just up the block. Calling back to 411 I got the number for Just Tires and they had my tires in stock starting at about $50 a tire and were open until 8. Had the tow truck shown up when it was supposed to, by 7:15 PM, this would have been perfect. But 7:15 and no tow truck. I called the auto club back and stressed that the tire place closed at 8. They called the tow truck back and said they were 10 minutes away. 20 minutes later I called again to stress that it had been a very long time and I had to be at Just Tires before they closed. I got disconnected. A minute later the tow truck itself (the driver--not the vehicle--stoopid) called to say it was 4 blocks away. It was 7:50. We pulled up to Just Tires at about 7:59. It was completely dark and empty. Piece of shit. So the tow truck driver knows this place on Touhy and Western that's open 24 hours.
"They are so trying to rip you off," said my brain, "but right now, you have little choice in the matter." So we went to the 24-hour Marathon station. On the way there, the tow truck driver was very chatty.
"You cold? They have great hot chocolate...Is smooth jazz ok with you?" he asked. Oh dear god.
"Whatever," I responded with as little disdain as possible.
"So what do you listen to?" he asked.
"Mostly classic rock and real jazz." Real jazz? I'm such a snob/bitch. Just then we were passing the Aragon, so he told me about the private Ozzy concert he went to in 1991. He was a heavy metal manager with long hair and black leather. Now, he drives a tow truck. Odd career change. He flipped the radio to 97.1 FM, the most classic classic rock station and started singing along with Steve Miller. Upon seeing a Captain Morgan billboard he said "The last time I had hard alcohol I ended up in the hospital. I'm strictly a wine guy now. That was 15 years ago. What's your drink?"
"Pretty much anything."
"Wow. Classic rock and drinks anything? I could have used a girl like you 10 years ago." And he gave me the biggest smile possible considering he was missing his three top central teeth. I pointed out I was still a kid 10 years ago.

At the Marathon station the tow truck driver came in with me to make sure I got some of the hot chocolate, then was on his way. The hot chocolate wasn't anything spectacular but I was cold and starving so it did its job. The guy who came out to help me looked like he belonged in a boy band. His accent was heavy and something eastern European. I doubt he was much older than I am.
They didn't have my tires in stock but he could check the used tires to see if there was one that might fit my car. I swore and he looked somewhere between stunned and entertained. He went to go look and I insisted on staying within view of my car (my rip-off radar was going nuts so I was trying to stay as much in control as possible). An older man who smoked a brown paper cigarette thing and drank coffee while he shook and spoke like he had some sort of palsy came over to make conversation. He looked like he could use a bath and a shave, but his pants and shoes (clean and fairly nice) suggested he wasn't actually homeless. Clearly, he wanted to talk. He's the baby of his family, one of four kids, his mom was 5'2" and had blonde hair and blue eyes like me and his sister also had my coloring. He has a cousin who is 10 years older than him who takes care of him and helps out a lot. Once he gave someone on the side of the road his spare tire just to be nice but later regretted it when he had to buy a new one.
Considering the physical trouble he had speaking he had a lot to say and was actually fairly articulate. He asked my name and I told him. His name is Jay. He was the kind of character that would win someone best supporting actor, but there he was, the real, complex thing. Kind of incredible.

In the end the Backstreet Boy found me a tire he was able to reinflate and put on my car until I can get a real one. He started my car for me "just to check." The belt thing under the hood was making a lot of noise. I said that it shouldn't be making any noise because it wasn't making noise when I drove it to work in the morning and it had simply sat in the lot and gotten a flat tire since then. He tried to tell me I needed an oil change. I said I'd checked the oil last month and was still in good shape, but that I'd planned on doing it soonish, just not tonight. He did something that made the rattling stop, turned off my car, and said the "new" tire and change would only be $25. "You like that?" I was duly grateful (according to the charts on the shop wall, most motor clubs paid $25 for a tire change without a "new" tire.) When he gave the bill to the guy at the gas station register he said "Only $25. I take care of the lady." I felt moderately victorious.

Now I have to be at my parents' house by 9 AM-ish so my mom and I can go to Costco for a set of new tires before her haircut appointment. Then we can go shopping in Oakbrook for the elusive black kneehigh boots for which I have desperately been searching.

Another day, another adventure.

death and taxes

I fixed my internet. I know you missed hearing the mundane details of my life.

My apartment suddenly feels very big and quiet now that Anne and Toph are gone. This is neither all good nor all bad.

The New Yorker makes me very happy when I actually take the time to read it.

I just did 90% of my taxes. Between my anal accounting on Microsoft Money and the free version of Turbo Tax the IRS webpage sent me to, it took me about an hour. I still need to get the numbers from my dad for whatever is in the funds my grandparents set up, but right now I heart the internet and my computer in general.

My dog is seriously bonkers. That's one major thing I left out of the Toph&Anne story: the Freud Factor. We spent a lot of time trying to get him to calm down and shut up, and Toph&Anne worked very hard to make him more comfortable and friendly around them. He'd mostly accepted their existence after a day or so, only freaking out when they tried to touch him or moved in a way his fucked-up little mind deemed threatening. But Anne said that she'd never seen a dog so completely in love with his person, so that made me feel more justified in liking the little bugger. It's nice to be adored.

I watched no TV today. This is a bigger deal than it should be. Perhaps I need to go on a TV diet.

What the hell am I going to do for money this summer?

Just Keep Swimming...

Why hello there. I am at work, currently subbing for the office administrator. This means I get to sit at the computer all day and answer the phones. The one major project I had to do I can't really do because the database login isn't working, so now I have another 7 hours to sit here and play on the internet. Which is very good because I have not had internet on my computer at home for over a week. I don't know why it isn't working, but it isn't. Anne could get online fine using her computer, so I know it's not the network, but I'm out of ideas for things to do to my computer. Maybe later this week I'll drag my butt to the really cute coffee shop by me with free wireless internet and try to make friends with someone with a clue. That would be good.

I have had the busiest week ever. Here is what I've been doing:
Sunday, March 12 was my brother's surprise 17th birthday party. He had no idea. My mom and I decorated with penguin, soccer, and philosophy stuff. I photoshopped Mark and philosophers into funny pictures together, and had one sign that read "I KANT believe it's Mark's 17th Birthday!" with a picture of Emanuel Kant. I think I'm funny, but so did Mark and his friends, so it's ok. My cousin and cousin-in-law Josh and Vicki came over and we watched Desperate Housewives and Grey's Anatomy in the basement and ate cake. The whole evening was an overwhelming success.

Monday, March 13 Amy turned 24. Happy birthday, Amy!!!

Tuesday, March 14 Work had a half day for Purim. I love Purim. It's a crazy exciting happy costumed holiday. I came dressed as "Red personified" (I wore all red including a boa and cape) and had hamentashen coming out of my ears. By the time they got to Kids Klub at noon, the kids were all exhausted. We had a very long "quiet time" during which no one complained or squirmed or even made a peep. It was a long day, but pretty easy all things considered. I went home and took a nap and watched TV before trying to clean my apartment until 2 AM for Toph and Anne's impending arrival.

Wednesday, March 15, against my better judgment I agreed to work in the office from 8-noon. I did 4 hours of data entry on 5 hours of sleep. It was boring and sucky and reminded me why I am so hesitant to sign up with temp agencies. Then I ran back home and cleaned my bathtub and kitchen surfaces because my apartment was still a complete and total sty. At 3 I took the El to Union Station (well, actually to 3-4 blocks from Union Station b/c that's as close as it goes and then I walked), met up with Anne, walked and took the El back to my apartment, got in the car, and drove a friggin' hour in traffic to O'Hare to pick up Toph. Another hour back in traffic and we stopped at my apartment just long enough to drop off luggage and pee before heading to Anne's high school friend Matt's house to meet him for dinner at House of Sushi and Noodles. All you can eat sushi was good and filling, even though I'm picky about texture and only really liked one of the types (a few others were ok, but the "Seattle maki" were the best with Salmon Tempura, Cucumber and Unagi Sauce) but it was good eating and fun nonetheless.

Thursday, March 16 was Toph's birthday and the longest day EVER. We went out to breakfast with Anne's brother David at Cafe Selmarie in Lincoln Square. I hadn't been there since some break freshman or sophomore year in high school when Jeni was visiting me and we went with Zach to hang around Lincoln Square and I came very close to being thrown into the fountain by Zach. I'd completely forgotten the incident until we were walking towards the place and it all wooshed back. Woosh. I had to be at work by noon for another half-day Kids Klub extravaganza, so I just got a brioche (which was fantastic) and lots of coffee. According to David, the best way to get from Lincoln Square to work was by walking down Lawrence to the red line stop. He suggested I look over my shoulder as I go to pick up the bus if it passed by, but that I might make it faster by walking than if I were to wait. Stupidly, I didn't think the plan through for myself and just assumed his method would be fine. I had about 30 minutes to get to school, and I knew it was only 15 minutes away (including walking) once I was on the red line. Had I stopped for two seconds to think about where we were, I would have realized that it was almost 2 miles to the red line stop and it was cold and my short little legs don't go that fast. I would have just waited for the Lawrence bus and made it to school with plenty of time. But I didn't. I walked. And I wasn't thinking about where the red line Lawrence stop actually was, so every block I expected it to be just a little further. The bus came by once while I was too far to catch it, but I saw tracks up ahead and figured it wasn't a big deal. Then I half-ran the two blocks to the tracks and saw they were Metra tracks and not El tracks. At that point I started a steady jog in the cold, El not yet even in sight, trying to decide if it was worth stopping to call Elizabeth to say I'd be late or if I should just keep going with the hopes of making it on time. I finally got on the second Lawrence bus to pass by with 3 blocks to go, almost immediately caught a train, and ran the whole way from the El stop to school. I arrived completely out of breath at 12:01 PM.
Elizabeth was extremely cranky because she'd had to set up by herself. We had 22 students and were supposed to have an extra grown-up person come in for the day since I had to leave at 3 and 22 students warrants 3 teachers, anyway. He wasn't there. We called Marni (our boss). She said she told him he didn't need to be there until 12:30-ish but she'd give him a call and let him know. We did lunch and played a game. 1 o'clock rolled around and he still wasn't there. We had some quiet time and put in a movie. Still no sign of him. The office administrator for work had called Laurie (our boss's boss) and I'd called Laurie and Marni again. It was after 2 and I was starting to freak out. I needed to leave at 3. It wasn't fair to Toph or Anne or me if I got stuck at work, but I also couldn't leave Elizabeth with the 17 kids that were still there. I called Marni again on her cell phone and at the JCC and left frazzled messages. She finally called back at 2:30 to say she'd deal with it. I said I had plans and had to leave at 3, so if nothing else, could she come in? No, of course she was too swamped at the J, but she promised I'd be able to go at 3 if I gave her 15 minutes to figure something out. At 2:50, she showed up with someone, apparently not the originally scheduled person (who never picked up his phone) but I didn't care. I was free. The kids had been wonderful all day, which was a very good thing because I don't think I could have dealt with everything had they been difficult. I was absolutely exhausted by the time I got back to my apartment.
But no rest for the weary! Must keep going! We went to Bittersweet to get goodies and a cake-like item for Toph's birthday. We sat and looked at wedding cakes as we consumed large quantities of tarts and cookies. Toph chose an amazing little cheesecake as his official birthday cake. I wish I'd taken pictures.
Back at the apartment we changed into our symphony-going clothes and played with make-up (ok, Anne and I played with make-up. Toph is no fun) until we decided where to go to dinner. Select Cut steak house seemed like the best idea for a Topher birthday dinner, so we walked over and deliciousness ensued. Anne was having tummy trouble, but Toph and I ate enough for her and an alligator. We were a bit slow getting out and were extremely late for getting to Symphony Center for Mahler 2. Toph and Anne were convinced we wouldn't make it the whole El ride there, but somehow I had this strange confidence that it would be ok. And it was. We found our seats with a good 30 seconds to spare.
Mahler was incredible. The Chicago Symphony Orchestra rules. It's a huge piece with three timpani (two onstage and one off) and the entire CSO chorus and 11 French horns. Who the hell needs 11 French horns? 11. The low strings were incredibly tight and even my flute-hating self has tremendous respect for the principal flute (he's way above and beyond every other flute I've seen in my entire life) and there is only one black person in the entire orchestra (a trumpet player) which is completely fucked up if you ask me. So Mahler ruled.
But the fun don't stop! After the symphony, we went to Vaughan's. It was extremely crowded and St. Patrick's Day-y, but we managed to get a table and drink 312s and have a good time. Finally, we went home and crashed hard.

But sleep in I could not! No! I had to be at work at 7:30 AM on Friday, March 17! Thank goodness for coffee! It was a fairly easy day at work and I ended up being put in the office in the afternoon, but I was exhausted and even when it's easy and fun, children are exhausting. And then I taught a violin lesson that went really well (this kid has rhythm and memorized the string names almost immediately) and was even more tired and had to pee and picked Toph and Anne up at the El station because they had the keys to my apartment. They'd spent the day walking around downtown and millennium park and such. We never actually got to Toph's cake the night before, so I stuck a Hanukkah candle in it and sang and then we ate it and it was wonderful. I don't like cheesecake except for Bittersweet's cheesecake, which I love. It's much richer and more delicious without the sour flavor I don't like in creamcheese. While we were eating, Anne's brother called to say we should go to this Irish place for dinner and get there as soon as possible before it got crazy-crowded. So finished our cheesecake and I refreshed my makeup and slapped myself a little and off we went! We were at David's apartment by 5:45 and were at The Grafton for St. Patty's Day festivities by 6. It was absolutely packed. We got our names on a list to be seated and got drinks while David ran home to get earplugs (he's not a fan of loudness, and this place was definitely loud). And we waited. We talked and waited and waited. I checked with the bartender to make sure we were really on the list and would actually get called at some point. I checked with the head waitress/hostess person to make sure she knew who we were when our names came up. And we waited and waited. The company and conversation were good (I actually really liked Anne's quirky brother and his friend who met us there) but we were getting hungry. Most of the tables had people who'd already eaten and were just sitting around. We wanted to say something, but didn't. There was even one table just playing CARDS. Every bit of floor space was taken up by people drinking and/or waiting for tables, and they just sat there. Assholes. When it was almost 8 PM (two hours after we'd arrived) I went up and did a polite "we've been here for two hours WTF" shpiel and saw the list they had no longer contained our name (it would seem the earlier list had been lost or they were going on memory for those of us who'd been there many many hours). Two minutes later we got to choose our table. Food makes everything better. Toph and I both got corned beef sandwiches and shared onion rings, David got shepherds pie, David's friend got corned beef and cabbage, and Anne got fish and chips. Very Irish, very St. Patrick's Day. It was after 10 when we got back to my apartment. I crashed. Anne and Toph met another one of Anne's friends from high school back at Vaughan's and I intended to meet them there but (big shock to those of you who know me) I slept right through their phone calls and barely woke up when they rang my bell to get back into the apartment. Apparently Toph completely crashed, too and was a zombie while at Vaughan's, so I felt a bit better about myself.

And then it was Saturday. We finally slept in (noonish) and I was starting to feel a little bit human. Anne and I were too lazy to shower before "breakfast" and we drove over to Ann Sathers so I could introduce them to the cinnamon rolls. We ate too much deliciousness and then went straight to the Shedd Aquarium. It was gorgeous out and after paying $15 for parking (which I calculated was comparable to had we all paid for public transportation) we saw the line was out the door, down the stairs, and part way across the courtyardy thing. Fortunately, I'd done my research ahead of time and knew that I wanted to become a member (if I go one more time this year the membership pays for itself), so we got to walk right past the line and into the building and to the membership desk. We are so cool. This is my first ever personal individual museum membership, so I feel spiffy.
The aquarium itself was fabulous. I hadn't been since the last time Toph visited 4ish years ago, and now there's a whole "Wild Reef" shark exhibit that is incredible. That's where I met the frogfish. These things are unreal. They change colors to camouflage with the coral and they have these weird flipper feet fins and push their way around and their faces are sexy to say the least. I think they may very well be my new favorite animal. Other aquarium highlights included sharks, sea turtles, two blue iguanas, sea otters, penguins, and an eel that scared the shit out of me. For the record, I hate fish-eating anemonies, so don't get me them for my birthday. They creep me out.
On the way back from the aquarium I introduced Anne to DSW Shoe Warehouse. We almost bought lots of shoes and ended up buying no shoes because even when they're a really good price they cost money and we'd been spending money like crazy people for days. By the time we got to my apartment we were pooped. Anne and Toph had been all cute and cuddly and pokey at eachother all day and I was feeling exhausted and lonely and third wheel-esque and I feel apart in a classic "Jill is crying for no good reason" tear-fest. So we ordered Giordanos stuffed pizza and watched Finding Nemo (we'd been referencing it all day at the aquarium) and played Monopoly on my cell phone.

Sunday we didn't wake up until after 2 PM. Oops. Anne and I went to the grocery store like good womenfolk while Toph practiced trombone, then we all went to Panes for whatever you want to call what one eats at 4 PM as the first meal of the day. The plan was to then go right to the Green Mill for the weekly poetry slam (we wanted to get there before they started charging the cover), but my stomach had other ideas. I'm not sure what I ate that pissed it off, but it pulled one of it's super-annoying "I refuse to properly digest what you just put in me" tantrums and I was tethered to the toilet. Since there was no point in Anne and Toph sitting around while I was stuck in the bathroom, I gave them instructions on how to get to the Green Mill by themselves. They had a good time and eventually my tummy quieted down enough for me to watch a little tv and do dishes in preparation for dinner. Dinner was the huge-ass BBQ brisket that's been in my freezer since Hanukkah and little red and yellow potatoes, all cooked on the George. The potatoes were very good considering how easy they were and I didn't try the brisket because I didn't trust my stomach. We went to bed around 1.

This morning we woke up at 4 AM to take Toph to the airport. There was no traffic and we made it there in record time, said our teary goodbyes, and got back in time to sleep for 45 minutes before getting up and getting ready and picking up one of the other teachers for work.

And here I am.

in briefs

Lilli Klotz is now famous.

"I should set you up with my fiance; you're like his soul-mate."
Said to me by one of the teachers at school today when we were discussing my interests and general life-goals.

"Believe it or not but i care about you alot i dont need anything from you in order to do so cuz i love you"
Text message received from an unknown local cell phone number (773-573-####). Either I'm being stalked by someone who doesn't know "a lot" is two words or this is my first wrong number text message. I'm just glad I don't pay for them individually or I'd want my dime back.

Yay for friends updating their blogs. Gives me something to do while watching too many crime dramas.

It is twelve septillion degrees in my apartment again. I tried taking Freud on a long walk to cool off, but he got bored and led me back home after one block, and I was too lazy to fight it. So now my fan's on and I'm in my underwear and I'm still as close as I ever really get to sweating. I want a Fudgsicle.

getting sick of this yogurty pizza

Blogs are too public a forum for me to openly discuss today's complaint, so I will use the Brian P. Zeller Pizza Analogy Method of presenting my troubles.

So I have this pizza. I like most of it very much most of the time. Sure, some of the toppings aren't uniformly fabulous, but overall, it's a great pizza. I also really like yogurt, but it clearly does not belong on the pizza. It doesn't want to be on the pizza, either, but there it is. It clashes horribly with most of the toppings and the underlying sauce and keeps getting in the way of my enjoyment of the pizza. I know I need to just deal with it and finish the pizza so I can get a fresh one and maybe then I will even be able to enjoy the yogurt with, say, granola, but until then, it is very frustrating and the bad taste sticks in my mouth and it's really not fair to the pizza itself because it's a really great pizza, but the yogurt is turning sourer and sourer and is taking it out on me. Even though it's not my fault, I'm having to try to keep the pizza together and edible until it's done. Today was a day I didn't have the appetite to stomach it and I was cranky and snippy and yelled a lot and I'm still feeling the frustration and not really sure what I can do to make the pizza more palatable. Maybe I should call another pizza-eating friend to go out for drinks or something this weekend and we can bitch. We haven't done that in months. Otherwise, I'm running out of ways to swallow the yogurt. Grrrrr.

nononononononono

So much for moving to Lemmon, South Dakota and buying a cheap house. Unless I go into the coat hanger business.

no pun intended

Female pig comment of the day:

Why are guys so much hotter when they're firemen? Particularly in uniform. It's not like the uniform accentuates anything, but the same guy I'd seen a dozen times before was suddenly extremely attractive today when he had on his firefighting academy garb. Maybe it's the hero complex. Mmmm...hero complex.

More HOT pictures:

It's hard out here for a pimp

John Stewart was the best Oscar host ever. He needs to have a similarly smart and funny but less famous and unmarried younger brother. I was feeling the pressure change in my head all day so I ended up staying home to watch the Oscars. I made sure to call my bother when March of the Penguins won because it is one of his new favorite movies ever. ("Jill, there are two things I take very seriously in life: soccer and penguins.") Freud made sure to start whining to go out right before they announced every important award, and I managed to burn my finger on the oven while taking out my pizza quite early in the evening. Even though I got cold water on it almost immediately, it still blistered and hurts like a mother. I put snow in a plastic baggy because I had no ice in my freezer and now I'm alternating between ice baggies, frozen pizza, and frozen steaks while smearing After-Burn gel all over the damn thing.

Ask me about my new Mr. Aaron dilemma. I don't want to post it on here due to paranoia, but I'd love to get any and all friends' opinions.

babysitting

Tonight I babysat. I changed the diaper of a 2-year-old, which seems very weird when she hands you the diapers and tells you where to find the wipes and all. When it's a baby's diaper, it's easy to forget that it's a human being, which is fine by me because I don't like to think about wiping human butt. Fortunately, there was no pooey diaper. I do not like poop. I am not Hannah. Also, they are a Jewish family and had cold cholent. Cholent is somewhat delicious. It is weird and uniform in flavor and reminds me of the better times at Kosher-Halal Coop. Their kitchen was kosher and I didn't know which sponges to use, so I ended up not being able to do the dishes, which is bad babysitting form, but as we used to say in KHC, "Better safe than treif!"

In the privacy of your own home

The mother of my student (the one with the blog that he never updates that I have linked on the side here) has mentioned several times that she is a big blogger herself. So I searched for her blog (her first and last name in the blogger search thing) and there it was, right on top of the list. So I read it. All of her posts for the last month. I now know about her dating life and a big fight with my student's dad. I feel a little dirty reading this stuff and I'm not sure if it's a good idea. On one hand, it's helpful to see this kid through her eyes and have a better sense of the things he's going through outside of school (it explains a lot, actually), and it's not like bloggers should have any expectation of privacy. But on the other hand, she is clearly not writing with her son's teachers in mind and it seems a little skanky to be taking advantage of her hobby like this. I'd find it weird if she was reading my blog, although she'd be perfectly entitled to. I just have no idea. I'm putting it to a vote and then I'll do whatever I want, anyway.
VOTE HERE

And from the delicious side of things, I have a new favorite non-George dinner to make: lazy-ass chili-mac. Here's the recipe:

boil water
make pasta (I prefer the short fat tubey ones)
drain
add can of chili (I prefer generic brand no beans)heat until hot

The whole process takes about 15 minutes and I can eat it in a bowl or on a plate with a fork or a spoon, depending on what's actually clean. For as much as I like to cook, sometimes I'm a total boy.

Far less delicious news: the Senate just approved the renewal of the Patriot Act. Is this like Fuck Civil Rights Week or something? It is the week bridging African American and Women's History Months, so in some ways, it makes sense. Now I sound very Oberlin, but I'm concerned.

Yay Hannah's new blog!

Hannah has a non-travel blog now. Huzzah.

My crazy dog is being crazier than usual. I think his allergies are acting up. Crazy, crazy dog. And he won't let me cut his friggin' nails, which is bad because they are getting sharp. Oh the fun Toph has in store. I fully expect him and Freud to spoon and snuggle all the time.

I still haven't killed the migraine that started over a week ago. It's behaving itself and staying managable, but it just keeps hanging on.

Don't you love these entries, where I don't really have anything to say, but I say it anyway?