Not so cheery Os

Thing my mom does that I find extremely annoying: says the "right" thing, regardless of if it's true or not.
Old but very good example: "We love and support you no matter what you choose to do" followed by obvious disappointment at my choice and much pushing towards her choice. Then she tells me I'm reading too much into things and that she's not actually doing/saying/meaning whatever it is that I think she's doing/saying/meaning. I know I do read too much into things, but it took a good 20+ years and many outside opinions from friends and therapists alike to make me realize it's not all in my head and she often is doing/saying/meaning what I think she's doing/saying/meaning. I'm overly sensitive, yes, but psychotic, no. I've gotten much better at telling her when she's upsetting me, but quite often she doesn't get it or flatly denies it and I get more frustrated and upset, but not telling her makes me frustrated and upset that I can't tell her. Frustrating. Upsetting.

Let's hope this fight was just getting shit out of the way before and not a prelude to the trip. We leave tomorrow evening for London, then a few very busy days in London before a few less busy days in Edinburgh and then back to the U S of A so I can watch the ball drop alone with my dog in my apartment on New Year's.

Stop. Bad Jill. I'm really looking forward to the trip and seeing my sister for the first time since this summer and feeling the dollar have its ass kicked by the pound but not really caring because my parents are paying for much of everything. I'm just ambivalent about so much Family Time as I don't do very well with large doses of it. I'll just need to make sure to find times to go off alone to maintain my sanity and perhaps quietly up my anti-depressants that I haven't even needed lately for the depression...makes you wonder...

Cheerio!