Mania: A Confession

I just wrote this, and I can't decide if it's really dumb bullshit or really important:

Sometimes, when I too strongly feel all the hurt and love in the world at once, I become super-saturated with emotion. It blisters and swells, tumefied and bloated, until I am paralyzed with every ounce of universal pleasure and pain, frozen, blinded by the strange volume of it all, wanting to push out and peel away my skin and take everything in at once until I can’t think or make sense and I’m stuck in my head and in my body surging and writhing with pressure and finally it comes bursting out in such an orgasm of emotion and brightness and adoration that I can’t believe no tangible, dense chunk of matter isn’t born somewhere, like a new star or the first bits of life from some primordial ooze. But being trapped as I am, some little blonde girl, the best I can bring forth are a few strange sentences that won’t mean anything by morning. If I believed in the human model of God, this would be His feeling that led to the creation of the world. How frustrating, this mortality and loneliness and ever-unfulfilled need for what I do not know.